Science has yet to invent a device that can detect the disasters man carries in his mind. – Amma

After a few more episodes of the Korean series, I have to say, despite the for my taste sometimes rather silly presentation, it is really excellent. The makers are not the least bit shy about taking up topics that are really hot potatoes, and not only in Korea. Be it domestic violence, discrimination against individual groups in society, or even the question of whether a person with a mental disability, that is, intellectual disability, does not also have the right to love and relationship… to a moment when the young man, who is deeply in love with the autistic lawyer, and she with him, and they do get together… and one evening he is going out with old friends and one of them tells him that he too once had been with "someone like that". That this was not love. That this was “pity". And I have to say, my heart did stop for a moment there.

In another episode, a colleague clearly expresses his assessment of the autistic newcomer (who is also highly intelligent and passed university summa cum laude, that is important) to another colleague: “Don’t be fooled by her! She is not the one who needs protection! She's better than all of us together!” This young man is filled with wild envy and downright hatred for the autistic colleague - because she is vastly superior to him intellectually (and also in terms of character).

And this is something I have also been confronted with my whole life, starting with my very own father, who, the older I got, didn't hold back with sexist and all sorts of other devaluations and mockery. Then came teachers… lecturers… colleagues and supervisors… to husbands who believe that an enemy you cannot defeat, you should make your friend… Yes, this was actually confirmed to me via this proverb.

When it was already too late and the situation had become irrecoverable. This story is one of the greatest shock experiences of my life, and today I see the lesson in learning to distinguish the "voice of intuition" and the "voice of trauma". My first therapist from over 15 years ago, when I didn’t even remotely think of autism, said to me once right at the beginning of our therapy, in the context of me not being aware of my charisma and impact: "I could imagine you walking into a room and before you've even said anything, some people already perceive you as the enemy!" My current therapist put it much more charmingly and with a smile, "It's the Sylvia effect!"

In the ashram I was once told that I may and should stop constantly fighting everything and everyone, constantly seeing enemies behind every bush…

Looking back, I would want to say to that today: I didn't start it.

Attorney Woo is someone I can really identify with a lot. She's not a 16-year-old boy with a therapist and an overprotective mother, as in "Atypical," but an adult woman who except for a loving father and a few friends is on her own. Of course, her autism is exaggerated (why does she walk funny?? But okay, when I lived in Japan, the Americans and Canadians also liked to make fun of me: "Of course! The Germans can't walk, they march!!" and I've been told the same thing by others, too. There's a photo of Amma from a few years ago, and I'm on it too - standing as stiff as a soldier, clutching the strap of my bag... which is what I did at the in-presence appointment at the Domus Institute too, and that promptly became part of the diagnosis!… Since then, I pay a lot of attention to my posture and my gait and often walk decidedly slowly... which in turn annoys my mom at home: "My goodness, you're so slow!”), in my case, you don't notice anything at all at first. But what would there be to "notice" except a confirmation of prejudices? When I was still a child it was a bit different, I was called a fidget and scolded for it, both at school and at home, just to name one thing that adults disliked.

But what's going on in Woo, I can understand that only too well, whether it's the revolving door... or the question whether she and her boyfriend are really together, because they hadn't really discussed it yet… Akiko and I had a moment not dissimilar…

And one time Woo has a meltdown on the street because a terrible accident happened in front of her eyes. She hits her head with her hands. I... I lose it and I might start screaming. I did that as a child and it still happens to me occasionally now. It always seems like a tantrum.

Her boyfriend sees it and runs to her to hug her from behind. And all she says is, "Stronger! Stronger!!!" And he squeezes.

Yes... this being hugged and squeezed tightly... it wasn't long ago that I realized this, but now I know.

This series really succeeds in capturing both the experience of the autistic young woman, as well as her neurotypical environment, to which she all too often is a mystery… and in a quite humorous and also very loving way.